Hunting the Hummingbird - by David C Hoffman

Support independent publishing: Buy this e-book on Lulu.

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Beginnings and endings

It's crazy to think that one month from now we'll be back home in Portland.

  I mean, we'll probably be sleeping during the day, and waking to start our day at 2:00 am... but we'll be back in the Pacific Northwest. 

Back home.

We have a little over two weeks left here in Kuwait, and they will be full of packing (annoying part of the moving process) and trying to fit in proper goodbyes with all the lovely people we've made friends with over here (champagne problems).

Each day, David and I stare at the calendar together and go over the details. Make sure we're both aware of what the other has committed to. Check and re-check our various deadlines. Marvel at how fast it's all going now.

This Saturday is the beginning of Ramadan, a Holy Month, and a special time in an Islamic country.  We truly love -and feel honored- to be invited to celebrate some traditions with our friends...but the downside is, it's a hard time to be here. EVERYTHING shuts down during the day. There is zero eating, drinking, smoking or chewing gum allowed outdoors or in public places indoors.
(children are exempt from this)

It stresses me out, man.

Like next week at work, I will NOT keep my normally-ubiquitous water bottle by my side. I will keep it in my purse, so that I can take it into my bosses office and take sips from behind a closed door.  Last year, I spent the month constantly terrified I would accidentally screw up and get arrested. 

It's also hot. Not like kinda hot, HOT hot. 

We reached 112F the other day, and it's supposed to hit 119F early next week.  

With it being Ramadan and so bloody hot, it makes the leaving of our home for the last two years easier.

But there is still a lot to be missed.

I'm currently in the process of writing two separate posts; one about all that we will miss about living in Kuwait, and one about all that we will not.
Stand by =)

My head and my heart are full of thoughts and emotions as we get ready to close this chapter, and attempt to begin the next one. 
We had plans about our return to Portland when we left. We had it all figured out:
David was going to slide seamlessly back into his old job. I was going to jump through a few hoops, and ultimately end up back at mine. We were going to buy a house...we even had picked out the area we wanted to purchase in.
Ah, plans. 
They are a good idea right up until they're not.

Dave has (blessedly) already been set up to return to his old job, which is great both in that he really loved it and in the security of employment.
Mine is proving harder to situate.
We've attempted to make an offer on a home, and that door was closed pretty fast.
Turns out it's tricky trying to purchase a house when you live in a different country than the one you're wanting to buy in.

Any time we've even tried to be proactive and begin to line up home or car purchases to be waiting for us upon our arrival back in the U.S., they do not pan out.

This has left me curious, and if I'm honest, frustrated.

Frustrated because I'm SO READY to put down roots again, and get started on watering those roots already.

Curious because I can't help but wonder why things haven't panned out as (I've felt) they should have?

As a person of Faith, it has me intrigued to see if perhaps God has much different plans for us than we've had for ourselves. Maybe our roots are not meant to be laid as we'd previously thought.

As a Type A Woman, it has me annoyed. Because dammit, I have a plan. 

We are now shifting our thinking to just renting a place for a bit to make sure Portland is even where we are supposed to replant.
While David is set to start up again at his beloved University this Fall, enrollment numbers are down. His career has taken a huge hit with the new President. 
As a Teaching English To Speakers Of Other Languages instructor, a giant chunk of his students have been from various Middle Eastern countries, and while the "Muslim Ban" has been lifted, if you were an employer or family wanting to send someone abroad to study English, why send to a country that has a volatile Visa situation and seemingly rampant Islamophobia? Wouldn't you be more likely to chose the UK, or Canada, or Australia to send your people?
I would. 

Also, the population the medical facility I worked at served was majority Medicaid patients, and with cuts being threatened to that area as well, I'm feeling less and less secure about my footing in healthcare. 

Who knows what our next year looks like?

Luckily, I know - I believe - we'll be okay no matter what. We've navigated uncertainty before, and always managed to come out the other side. I'm just grateful we get to be together!  Throughout our time here in Kuwait, I've met countless people who are here working without their families. Women who leave their children back home with the grandparents and come to Kuwait in order to work to provide for their children, sending all their money back home. Men who leave their families in their home country and come over here to earn a living that they otherwise could not, and it's still considered at poverty level.
I'm thankful we're able to live together all the time. No matter where that is.
(And I'm thankful for my sister and her little family opening their doors wide for us as we first land and while we figure out which direction to head next.)

If I slow my mind down enough...take breaths deep enough...quietly commune with the Lord enough...I can actually find myself the teeniest bit excited about all the unknown, as opposed to my normal modus operandi, which is anxiety to the point of hysteria.

If you would have told me ten years ago that I'd be raising twin seven year olds in Kuwait, I'd have had a hard time believing you.
And what an adventure that has been.

'Tis grace that brought us safe thus far, and grace will lead me home. 


  1. I am still in denial that you are actually leaving and so soon. Even though we haven't been hanging out a lot, just knowing you were here meant so much! You will all surely be missed, but I am super excited about your new beginnings. xox

    1. I know exactly what you mean...I hate it when you travel out of country because I like knowing you are here!!! We want to see you guys before we leave FOR SURE...we all started this journey together!!!

  2. I know it's bittersweet for you to be leaving all the good friends you have made in Kuwait, but I am SO HAPPY that you will soon be heading out on the journey that will bring you back to your friends and family here!!!

    Love, Aunt Carol

    1. we are too ;). Looking forward to seeing you and chatting in person!

  3. I'm selfish and just can't handle this blogpost because it suggests (in even the most hypothetical of terms) you might live somewhere other than HERE. Obviously we are praying for your family during this transition, but I would be lying if I didn't say my prayers are directed towards you planting those dang roots here in Portland so Lucy can grow up with her cousins.

    1. Keep 'em directed that way!!! We WANT to be in PDX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm just *trying* to be an open-minded grown up about other possibilities as well.