(a glimpse inside David's head...)
I was surprised to find that there is a direct relationship
between the temperature of my shower in the morning and how much I sweat on my
walk to work. It’s only about a 20 minute walk – not even a mile probably – but
it’s almost 90°F as I leave around 6:15am, so if I warm my body up much in the
shower, I’m prone to sweat within the first block. So a nice lukewarm shower is
often how I start my day, followed by a cup of coffee made from dried crystals
and the used electric kettle furnished by my employer. (Even at nice work
functions – with nice catering - I’ve been given coffee made from crystals…)
Dressed in work-out clothes and lacing up my running shoes, I carefully fold my
ironed work clothes into a bag to carry to work, slip into the kids’ room, kiss
their sleeping foreheads (sometimes Abbey’s awake “Are you going to work? I
love you” she whispers), do the same for Kendra – who’s sleeping soundly – and leave
the apartment.
There are only two apartments per floor in our building, and
the space between the two elevators outside them is not air-conditioned. The
sweating begins. I look out to the south of our building as the car comes up
from the ground floor. I hear it say “Seventh floor” from behind the closed
doors and walk over to board. The mirrored walls give me a chance to check my
teeth, bemoan my puffy eyes, and look over my walking attire before getting out
in the lobby. Mustafa’s never in the lobby (as he normally is) as I leave, but
there’s evidence he’s been up: the door is unlocked, his shoes are outside his
door, and the pile of newspapers on the table bear the day’s date. I pull open
the door and step outside.
For the first few blocks, I try to ignore the inner argument
I have every morning: “It’s not that hot. It’s fine. Just a short walk. Don’t
walk too fast.” The other voice responds: “Damn, it’s hot. It’s just past 6 in
the morning and it’s already hotter than most days in Portland. That guy’s not
sweating like you are.” The man walks by me, and I nod. At this hour, no one is
particularly friendly. “It’s not that bad. Don’t think of it. You knew it would
be hot in Kuwait. They say it’ll cool down within the month. Hell, yesterday
was only 109. The day before was 115. It’s way hotter when you walk home. Don’t
think about it.” The roaming taxis that are ubiquitous even at this hour always
seem to spot me. They honk, circle, slow down, as if I’m really quite absurd to
be walking. They don’t seem to do it for the darker skinned folks I walk by… “But,
damn, it really is hot. You’re already starting to sweat. You’re not even two
blocks from your building!” I navigate the broken path that is my sidewalk,
zigzagging between dumpsters and dumped food from last night’s dinner, sewer
grates, and oddly-parked cars. The rail-thin street cats scatter even though I
give them wide berth and say nice words. They gallop a short distance, then lay
down to observe me pass, ears switching to other sounds as their eyes remain
fixed on me. “It’s not that bad,” I finally decide, “and so what if I sweat? I’m
a sweater. This is what Americans do. We walk if we can. We make our own way.
We don’t pay for taxis for a five minute ride. Who cares if they stare at me?”
About halfway there and a very friendly fly always seems to
want to accompany my face the rest of the way, penetrating my ear, nose, eyes
even. “No means no,” I told him once. He didn’t get the joke. I don’t know
where he’s been, so I swat at him evenly, trying not to be too bothered.
It’s really quite pretty at this time of the morning. The
streets aren’t so busy. It’s not really that hot. If I were just sitting on the
low wall that rims the park to my right, it would be a very pleasant way to
watch the sun rise and Kuwait wake up. As it is, I walk. And sweat. And try not
to think of the sweat. And the flies. And that smell that I get from the open
sewer lines every once in a while. And the poor street cats that Abbey would
love to give a home. And the diseases they probably have. I’ve only seen one
that didn’t look scary thin, near death. He looked like he was just coming out
of his home in the morning to gloat over the street cats who don’t have someone
to look after them. Didn’t seem to notice me walking by him, accustomed to
humans, I supposed.
Near the end of the park block, I cross the street by the
international clinic, which is currently ringed with scaffolding of a sort that
reminds me of pyramid building, old wood knotted together with what looks like
old shirts. It’s the same a block or two later where a palatial white house (or
government building of some sort) is being finished. The tools and workers look
like they’ve come from ancient Egypt, but the work they complete is pristine. “OSHA
would not approve,” I think and laugh, reminding myself that this is how the
pyramids were built. And then I think, “And how many people died building the
pyramids?” I try not to think of their safety. Safety is relative, I suppose,
and they’re professionals, I also suppose. Besides, I’m just a foreigner with
foreign ideas.
The next block is my favorite. At the head of the street, an
elderly Muslim man in cap and gown (not so blindingly white as the young men at
the university wear), sits behind his older Lexus and reads his morning
newspaper on a low wooden bench under a metal awning in front of his house. He
never looks up at me. He’s the kind of man I want to meet. He’s the kind of man
I want to ask about Kuwait, about Islam, about Arabic, about the Iraqi
invasion, and about foreign workers and investment. I wonder what he thinks
about oil and the wealth it’s brought. Maybe someday I’ll introduce myself. But
maybe he’ll wonder what a man in work-out clothes who’s walking and sweating at
this time of the morning would want with him.
A few houses down is the little boy and his sister and
nanny. Glasses too big and pants pulled up too far, he’s dressed for school
like his sister is. But unlike his sister, who’s too busy dancing or fussing to
ever notice me, and unlike his nanny, who always seems to be looking away when
I glance to say good morning, the boy stares at me as soon as I come in sight.
His look belies a sense of wonderment at seeing me, as if this is his daily
visit from his delightful imaginary friend. I’m always sure to wave, which only
doubles his grin. He once adjusted his glasses, but he’s yet to wave. I wonder
if he’s still trying to decide if I’m real.
I’m getting close now. I can see the large mosque by the
school. There’s no denying it now: I’m in full sweat. Depending on the shirt,
it can be more or less obvious. I really don’t know why I’m so obsessed with
measuring how much sweat can be seen on me. Maybe it’s because it’s a mark of
my “foreign-ness” – like I’m just not used to the weather here, like I just don’t
belong here. Maybe it’s because I’m the only one I know who walks to work, and
it seems a bit odd to other folks. Maybe it’s because walking is considered too
low for people of modest wealth, and I’m breaking some kind of mold. More
likely is that I’m just self-conscious – not about most things – but damn, I am
a sweater. The internal argument resumes: “It doesn’t matter. So what if you
sweat? You’re walking to work. That’s commendable. Saves you money, helps with
the fitness. Who cares if you sweat? You’re bringing you to Kuwait. Don’t let
the norms of Kuwait change you.” This street is always a bit busier as some
sort of delivery truck always seems to have some business at the mosque, parked
in back. “But it is hot,” my inner voice argues, “and maybe they don’t walk
here because they know something you don’t. Isn’t that the first rule of
cross-cultural communication: watch what other people do, and do the same?” I
come to my first busy street along this walk, and look across it to the entrance
gate I always pass through at the university. Most mornings, I have to wait a
bit to time my passage across the street. Not exactly Frogger at this time in
the morning, but there’s still some strategy to it. As I reach the other side,
the other voice argues back, “But I’m bringing David to Kuwait, man. I don’t
care what they do or think of me.”
Being a teacher here is a bit different than back home. The
man at the gate says, “Good morning, sir.” The dozen maids and janitorial staff
who are busy cleaning the university grounds that I pass by all stop to say the
same. They make a point to call me “sir,” or “good sir.” The look on most of
their faces is not feigned respect – there really is something to it. They look
up to me in some way. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe they’re instructed (demanded) to
treat each instructor with respect – to say good morning – upon pain of losing
of their job or something. From some stories I’ve heard, that may not be too
far from the truth. But with the few that I’ve met and had some kind of
interaction with, I get the feeling that they’re really surprised I’m talking
with them – as if I shouldn’t, as if other teachers normally don’t – and that
doing so really brightens their day. It pains me a bit to say that...
I don’t want to recognize that just because I’m white, and a
man, and a teacher, and an American working at an American university, walking
in with my work bag, walking up to my office, that that should confer on me any
distinct advantage over these people who are mostly from India, Pakistan,
Nepal, or the Philippines – here to earn some money for their families just
like I am. I don’t really want to know how much more I make for how much less I
work. So I have a different skillset. Should I really have such an advantage?
What can I do in return but try to look them in the eyes and talk to them like
the unique individuals they are? It would be wrong, I think, to do anything
else.
Riding the elevator to the fifth floor always bothers me. I
always, ALWAYS, get dizzy for a minute or two after getting off elevators. But
I’m not about to climb five flights of stairs in this kind of sweat. Luckily,
the AC has already halted my sweating, and soon I’ll be dry and cold in my
office, ready to head to the john with my work clothes to change in a bathroom
stall. I’m normally the first to reach the office in the morning, and I’ve got
a brightly-lit little room off the copy room all to myself – the first time I’ve
ever had my own office, with my own key, my own cabinets and bookshelf. It’s
all empty, and I can’t think of how on earth I’ll ever fill up this office. Not
in my two years. Everyone keeps saying, “That’s what they all say,” when we say
we’re here for two years, citing person after person who ends up staying closer
to a decade. “But it’s too damn hot,” the inner voice says. And the other one
agrees, “Yes, and we love the rain in Oregon.”
"I don’t really want to know how much more I make for how much less I work. So I have a different skillset. Should I really have such an advantage?"
ReplyDeleteI've had that exact thought so many times. I don't have an answer yet. And if the answer is no - if we shouldn't have this advantage - then what?
David, it is so good to hear your voice in your writing, and I enjoyed your post so much. It brought back so many memories. I don't think it ever occurred to me to take a cool or cold shower until I lived in a hot country, and then I started taking them multiple times a day (no AC). I remember writing a letter to my mom about the heat, and having sweat drip off the tip of my nose onto the paper. I love the green of Oregon, but I wouldn't have traded those experiences for anything. Enjoy it all!
ReplyDeleteHijack more often! I loved hearing your voice and perspective!
ReplyDeleteGreat to hear how you see things in your new home. We miss you and are envious of the adventure you are on! Thanks for taking us along for the ride.
ReplyDeleteSteve Todd
Thanks for the walk. That was a vivid and neat window into daily life.
ReplyDeleteOH MY... I wouldn't even last waiting for the elevator! How much is the cab???? You are a true hero walking so the family can enjoy donuts! Love you!
ReplyDelete